5 love and sexual scenarios in quarantine

The quarantine for the Coronavirus pandemic caused, as we know, a radical change in social habits.And, of course, it also influences love and sexual life.There are disagreements when approaching, kissing and, not talking, of having sex.Five scenarios.

1 - Couples who live together

In those couples who live together and have to go out to comply with the essential tasks, the uneasiness is installed by the social contacts that each one could have in their workplaces or other social groups.Then there are those most locked up and sharing all the time of coexistence, alone or with children.Already the fact of being as a couple involves an adaptation exercise based on the organization of tasks, reaching agreements, refining tranquility, humor and tolerance.

Being so long together with a special adaptation, considering that it is not desired, but is a consequence of a special contingency, stressful in itself.The organization and distribution of tasks is often not enough, recreational activities are required, some to do as a couple, and others, alone.Respecting the spaces of loneliness is a condition that must be taken into account and would not have to generate concern.Those moments of loneliness are vital to reflect, let our mind fly, connect with a lonely activity or get discouragement, unrestricted anguish.

When doing the tasks, it is important that they be shared;It is a good opportunity to make more flexible and rearrange tasks without anyone feeling obliged, they simply collaborate to have a better time.The mood will surely have its oscillations: it is not the same to have anguish or sadness when we go out and comply with the weekly routine, that when we face a situation of isolation and uncertainty all day.The reactions are more to the leather and can generate crisis that could be avoided.Therefore, take into account that, although we do not have full awareness of our mood the confinement situation under this context of fear and uncertainty in itself increases the state of alert with the consequent impatience and irritability.Let's add to this the change in habits, especially sleep schedules, which does not favor being calmer and relaxed.

As well as physiological functions (sleep, appetite, sex, etc.) they are disrupted, it also happens with the body.The connection with a bodily figure that does not have the expressive freedom of always, with changes in body weight, with entrecasa clothing, modify self -image: we get more critical, demanding, taxes.The same that happens with the image itself moves to the image of the couple, which we see how every morning when waking (in pajamas, disheveled, with bad breath, with beard, etc.) only that this real image can be maintainedthe day.

The sexual love encounter needs to get away for a moment of concerns to focus on erotic contact;If you settle in fear, the ability to enjoy will be diminished.I do not believe that this confinement can favor the "baby boom" as happened in the postwar period (World War II).On that occasion the end of the war brought joy and the reunion with the men who returned after a long time of being separated.On the other hand, the opposite occurs in quarantine: the presence of the other twenty -four hours, the anxiety caused by confinement and change of habits, the presence of children, children or adolescents who require attention and containment ... Everything goes to detrimentof intimacy.

Daily stress does not help desire: the cohabiting ones are not surprised, on the contrary, each one needs a time to be alone;In addition, we are from Entrecasa, so the focus of sensual attraction, of seduction, is lost.If it is possible that, after passing the pandemic, we are better willing to have sex and increase loving contacts, at that time I think it can favor the "baby boom", it seems that all the pleasure was suspended waiting for better times.The illusion, enthusiasm and enjoyment are put in the near future, not in the "here and now";For this present is the effort and tolerance.The specialists are attentive to rivalry or discomfort behaviors that can increase by confinement.Taking into account that during the holidays and holidays couples usually go into crisis and increase divorce rates, more crisis situations are foreseen.

The sexual encounter needs desire, fantasies, attraction, desire, but, above all, verbal communication and body contacts in general: hugs, caresses, massages, kisses, necessary for the senses and erotic to activate. I think that quarantine should help to improve these forms of connection, essential to break with the custom of "fast sex", such as a mere discharge of tension and sleep. While the desire may not live up to the circumstances you have to help it: propose variants such as bathing together, massages, dancing with some romantic theme that brings pleasant memories, perfume, using the lingerie that had been waiting for, looking for stimuli such as erotic movies Or explicit sex, use sex toys, all helps to return the longest, pleasant and expectant sex that it is repeated. For many couples watching a porn video together has stopped having resistances; Before it was an activity locked in intimacy, a non -said experience, now it is said, shared and enjoyed.

The distribution of tasks inside the house, when both members of the couple (and also children) collaborate, helps to relax intrafamily tensions, favoring all links, including loving/sexual.Isolation challenges us to mobilize all internal capabilities to face it.Generate activities inside the home, maintain the connection with others by technological media, write, read;Activate those tastes that during the work period we cannot do for the lack of time.While it is true that we can get bored, it is also to accept it;However, it is convenient not to sink into discouragement: it is time to challenge us and think that this situation is transitory.And everything we do to overcome it will result in our well -being and everyone's good.

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— Travis S Wix Sun Jul 31 13:59:54 +0000 2016

2 - Couples who do not live and were separated by quarantine

One of the issues that must also be taken into account are those couples who have been forcedly separated by quarantine.Virtual communication helps communication and also maintain some erotic practices virtually.There is more virtual sex in these away couples than in those who live.In addition, people are more encouraged to do things behind the screens than in the melee encounter.The non -presence of the other constantly helps wait for that moment to connect and speak.Only a space of intimacy, desire and trust is needed for virtuality to use a valid resource.

While in the first days of quarantine fear made many couples stay away, today, taking advantage of some flexibility, they have encouraged themselves to be together and experience forced coexistence;From one day to the other, they look together, adapting to a new reality.Living alone and suddenly being sharing the same space is not usually a problem, on the contrary, it is enjoyed, there is also the alternative of “if it does not go well I return to my house”;On the contrary, the issue is complicated when living with children or with the family of origin, which is more difficult to maintain intimacy.

3 - First contacts through networks

Contacts through apps, for people who are just being known, are held virtually waiting for better times.Prolonged interaction can help interested people know better, although it also favors interest in diversifying profiles in order to make a more precise selection of them.If discarding, or being chatting with several people at the same time, it was an alternative before the pandemic, much more in these days of confinement.These contacts stimulate more uninhibited language and behaviors, with hot suggestions that reach virtual sex.Remember that virtuality is not a guarantee of security, on the contrary, it has its risks, the sexting (sending erotic photos and videos) can be used to extort the person.

4 - People who are alone

The extension of quarantine increases the experiences of anxiety, uncertainty, and the need to keep us in contact, even in virtual form, with family, friends, etc., to mitigate the impact.One thing is the time to be with one, an opportunity that gives us quarantine to improve introspection, and another is the loneliness that feels and suffers.The extension involves continuing with the routines that so far put order to life in confinement, but others must also be generated so as not to feel the void.And the resources of exhaust.

Many people who are alone have discovered hidden skills, such as knitting, gardening, clothing, chin, painting, writing, or being able to overcome fears to technology.While loneliness in these times of virtual connections, series and delivery is not the same as decades ago, as the options are exhausted there is no other than being with oneself.

When one says "sex in solitude" the first thing that comes to mind is masturbation, it is true;However, this practice is of self -knowledge, it is not only to stimulate the clitoris or the penis helped by fantasies or porn movies, it is above all a discovery of erogenous zones, of actions and variants that lead to different degrees of excitation.Therefore, you have to honor the self -knowledge by testing different fantasies, movements, poses, toys, vibrators, places, in order to expand self -reaerotic experience.

5 - Forced monogamy

With the Coronavirus epidemic an unusual event happened: forced monogamy, especially for those other links (in addition to stable) with an affective commitment and sexual "skin".In general, the abstinence of the lover is reluctant.There is no other;Most, for fear of infection, or to avoid a new conflict in the stable relationship, opt for monogamy, with disgust or resignation.The obligatory monogamy generates more anxiety and the need to remain in telephone or virtual contact with the third in question, which exposes the person to be discovered.There are lovers who are transitory, sporadic relationships that mean when not seeing them;However, there are other love models with which there is an affective and close bond, and economic contributions are even added.

The presence of that parallel, hidden or polyamorous relationship occupies a place that balances the conflicts and sexuality of the stable couple.While the lover remains as such, love/sex through, helps sexual interest with the "official" couple.There are couples that are held in that delicate triangular balance, in which the lover fulfills a moderating function of tensions and sexuality.Forced monogamy increases the discomfort of couples and does not lead to reunion, on the contrary, it stimulates rejection behaviors.

Polyamorous relations, as they do not hide, suffer by the obligatory distance, but since there is an agreement between the parties of the couple, it does not suffer.Instead, hiding the other relationship involves hiding or waiting for the exits allowed to connect with the other.In these cases, anxiety and fear of being discovered can lead to the awkwardness of leaving revealing messages in sight.

By Dr. Walter Ghedin, psychiatrist and sexologist.